I was walking to an appointment in my beautiful city of San Francisco last week and I almost tripped over myself in a very public place. To my left was the most gorgeous flower….one of my all-time favorites: the hydrangea. I was so taken aback that I started snapping picture after picture. It was perplexing to me that so many people could walk by this amazing display of God’s artwork and not, at the very least, pause to admire its natural beauty and purple glow. As I was happily distracted, one man walked up to me and looking rather confused said, “What are you taking pictures of?” Really, I thought? I wanted to ask if this was a rhetorical question, but I bit my tongue, thankfully. The interesting thing was….once I showed him what was blazingly obvious to my eyes…he became transfixed by this flower. He then turned to me and said a heartfelt “thank you”.
I usually try to limit my conversations to mostly art related topics….but a flower IS art, isn’t it? It is almost 4 a.m. in SF and I could not stop looking at this picture. I just sent it to someone that I love….and I just had to share it with you….not because it is a fantastic picture….but because the hydrangea is complex and beautiful and magical…..and we all need a little beauty and magic in our lives every once in awhile, right?
Good morning and happy Saturday…..
Until we meet again,
k i m b y
I write this tonight with a heavy heart. It is with great sadness that I share the fact that my dear cousin committed suicide last week. He was 51 years old and like a brother to me. He was an amazing and tortured human being. He did everything….EVERYTHING to the extreme. Everything was huge, both his joy and his pain. We had just spent the last three weeks talking to one another every day and night and morning. He was struggling and I knew it. We talked and talked about art. He was both an artist, a sculptor, and an avid collector of eclectic art….installations of bottles, bronzes, Native American oils, sunsets…and on and on and on. I had only recently shared the fact that I had created my own website showcasing my oil paintings and photography. He called me after viewing it and told me it made him cry. When I asked him why…he replied, “Because I never knew you were so talented. I am so proud of you Kimby.” What a gift to me….a rare gift. I will never forget those words. When I am feeling insecure I will remember what Webster said to me. He had a very discerning and amazing eye for good art as well as was not one to haphazardly hand out compliments.
He told me he was excited to get back to his sculpting. He wanted to mail me a huge canvas that had a “crazy history behind it.” I never got to hear what exactly that history was. He sent me pictures of his stretcher tools. He wanted to teach me how to make my own frames for my paintings.
He never got to fulfill those promises and I will never get the opportunity to benefit from his knowledge, sadly.
I have been feeling very apathetic since learning of his death. It has consumed me. Suicide is particularly brutal to those left behind. So many unanswered questions…unfinished business. I have been doing my best to continue to manage my life and do what I need to do, begrudgingly. The other night, I decided that I needed to pick up my brush and paint something….something happy, something that embodied hope, something that was colorful, something new. So, the painting of the hydrangea was the result of this effort. It is the first time I have ever attempted to paint this flower. This flower reminds me of my father….Web’s uncle. I hope they have found one another wherever they are, in whatever dimension they now find themselves. I miss both of them profoudly…and I always will.
In closing, this flower is for you Webbie….thank you for the memories. I will miss you for the rest of my life.
This is an oil painting I started last night on an 11 x 8 canvas. Hydrangeas are one of my favorite flowers. They grow like wild all over San Francisco…they also remind me of my father who left this world in 1999.