Monthly Archives: April 2012

Today is a new day, a new week, a new start…


Hello there.  I hope you had a super weekend.  Spring has sprung…at least that is what it looks like in the San Francisco Bay area.  It was a truly beautiful weekend here.  I did not get to enjoy much of it except for the few short walks I took with my Rat Terrier, Benny.  Don’t feel too bad for me however.  Missing the outdoors was by choice. I was planted at my computer for the better part of last weekend.  I have been diligently (most of the time, lol!) working away at getting my website up, running, and published for all to see.  You can check it out at:  I welcome all constructive criticism; however, I just ask that you keep in mind the fact that what you are looking at currently is merely a rough draft.  I have much fine tuning to do before it looks the way I have envisioned it to look.  Please feel free to email or message me with your suggestions and/or any difficulties  you many experience while viewing my artwork on my site.  

Due to all of my computer work and a “situation” I unfortunately found myself embroiled within, which I will speak more to at a later date, my painting has suffered.  This deeply grieves me.  Although it is only temporary, I am still affected by its’ absence.  You see, painting is the one and ONLY thing that allows me to ‘just be.’  Painting forces my mind to slow down to a snail’s pace thus allowing me the blissful experience of internal freedom that I normally do not know or understand at the more cerebral level.  Therefore, I FEEL it when I do not not paint for several days.  I would liken it to the way a runner feels when they miss their morning jog for a few days in a row.  I speak from experience as I used to run/jog on a daily basis.  I just didn’t “feel right,” rather like I feel now.  Painting provides my subconscious mind a strong creative outlet that I believe ALL of us NEED & DESERVE to experience on a regular basis.  Painting provides me with perspective.  Painting gives me the gift of BALANCE…something that normally evades me on most days.  This is one of the reasons that I think it is so important for everyone to find some sort of creative outlet.  There are changes in the brain that occur on the subconscious level that deeply affect the way we operate and function in the world on a daily basis.  I have experienced so much satisfaction since I began painting on a regular schedule, so much so, that when I miss a few days in a row….I organically and chemically FEEL it.  

I believe that as humans, ALL of us, were gifted with the ability to be creative…to just simply ‘create’.  Don’t think too much about it….just do something that involves working with your hands that is not related to your normal “work.”  As I know all too well, the difficult part is knowing WHAT it is one can do in order to harness one’s creativity.  This can be the tricky and overwhelming part to this equation.  Perhaps this can help you?  Check out this link that talks about creativity:

For me, it all began in 1999 after the death of my father.  I was fortunate enough to have a dear friend who was a professional artist.  When I returned to San Francisco, following the memorial service for my father in Indianapolis, she could see that I was bereft.  Her name was Erin.  She brought out an assortment of her own colorful oil paints, an old scrap piece of veneer, and a few brushes.  She told me to sit down and “just paint.”  I looked at her like she was crazy.  I had never picked up a paint brush in my life….well, except for 3rd grade art class perhaps.  I was initially very resistant; however, she kept pressing me to “just do it.”  I was profoundly intimidated and frightened.  I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself; afterall, I could barely draw stick figures.  How in the world was I just supposed to pick up a brush and start painting?  WHAT would I paint?  HOW would I paint?  How was I supposed to know what in the world to do with those sticky, expensive, beautifully colored oils?  She told me to just TRY.  So, try I did.  She handed me her supplies at 9 pm and left me alone.  Good God…silence AND a blank canvas?  Remembering back to that (initially) lonely night, I honestly felt as if there was absolutely NOTHING as frightening in the free world.  

Fast forward 12 hours.  Erin woke up and was shocked to find me sitting in the exact same location that she left me the night before.  The beeswax candle had all but burned to a form unrecognizable to its’ initial shape.  The ashtray was full with Marlboro light butts and the bottle of cabernet sauvignon I had started with was now empty.  I had all but completely covered a 4 foot by 3 foot piece of wood.  I covered it with color after color of swirling and squiggly madness….a beautiful madness.  

Thus began my painting career.  By taking brush to hand-to oil-to wooden board, I had uncovered a previously unchartered landscape of my mind:  my creative side.  This one exercise has turned into the ONE THING THAT IS MINE AND MINE EXCLUSIVELY:  Painting!  No one ‘made’ me do it (except for Erin, initially…lol!) and no one ‘expected’ anything out of me.  I just paint because I love to paint.  It has been a relationship and like all other relationships.  It takes time to develop trust and intimacy….thus the story of my love affair with painting began.  

So, perhaps now you can see why it grieves me that I haven’t painted in several days….I miss my best friend, my confidant, my love… painting.  Well, tis always tomorrow…………or tonight after my “day job” commences.

Take some time today to devote to just YOU.  Grab a pen and a notebook and write down that which inspires you, that which you find beautiful or dark or lovely or terrifying.  Jot down a few dreams that you have always wanted to accomplish.  Write a few adjectives that describe what you find exciting or tragic in the world.  And then….let those words on the paper marinate in the recesses of your conscious and unconscious mind.  You might be surprised with what transpires from this simple exercise.  Be patient.

Have a blessed day and week.



Surreal Tree


Surreal Tree

A painting I am currently working on that resembles Medusa…according to a dear friend of mine. It is a small piece done on masonite. I LOVE painting on gesso’d masonite. The feel and look of the brush on the board is sublime. It is silky and you cannot see brush strokes…unless you WANT to see brush strokes. This is a work in progress. Stay-tuned for updated pictures.

The Road to Hana


The Road to Hana

I painted this piece the other evening. The inspiration came from a sweet memory long ago. It was 2002…Maui, Hawaii, with my late fiance Derek Bigler. We were driving down the road from Hana after spending two amazing days at the Hotel Hana Maui. We explored that gorgeous and lush area every second we were there, even in darkness, drinking in all its lush mysteries. As we were heading down the long and winding road back to Maui, I made Derek pull the jeep over so that I could just stand and stare. It was at that moment that I made the conscious decision to permanently retain the beautiful vision that was before me. So here it is…etched in my mind and heart…and now on a canvas. Mahalo!